Dealing with an Unwanted Pregnancy

      Getting the news that you are pregnant can not only be surprising, but quite frightening as well. Not every woman is as prepared to journey through motherhood as the next. Breathe, do your research and use available resources to help you best make your decision on what comes next for you and your baby.

 Don’t fret! Although you may be overcome with emotions including fear, anxiety and hopelessness, there are options to choose from regarding these hurdles. First, its normal to have the thought, “Am I wrong for not wanting to keep my baby?”.  Rest assured, all women go through different stages and seasons in their lives; some seem to have it altogether and others find themselves lost and confused. However, one thing you and other women share is the unalienable right to choose what happens with their own pregnancy; what’s best for themselves and best for the baby!

 Making a decision, like choosing an adoption plan for your child, for example, can be terrifying yet rewarding. I know, “rewarding?” While, it may sound impossible and unreachable, I ask that you bare with me.  Keeping up with your physical and mental health during this time and after you give birth is the most important task for you to stay focused throughout this experience. This may look different for each individual woman, and that is more than ok! Many women whom find themselves facing an unwanted pregnancy, face weighing choices such as abortion or adoption verses parenting. If abortion and parenting are not options, women often ask themselves, “Is adoption for my baby what’s best?”.  Questions are probably racing through your frazzled mind right about now. “Where do I begin?”, “What happens in the long run if I choose adoption?”, “What if I’m not sure what family to choose?”.  These and more, are frequently asked questions by women when considering adoption for their unwanted pregnancy. Don’t let this revolving door of questions fill your head with doubt and uncertainty! When you open your heart and mind to an adoption plan, a sense of calm and relief can be found. You can rest in the idea that everything will be okay; not only for yourself, but also for your baby’s life journey. With adoption, not only are you choosing life, you have the ability to freely choose a safe loving home for your child; all while making sure you yourself can keep your head above water and fulfil your own purpose.

 Finding resources and direct individuals whom are available to assist in your decision making can also be a difficult job for an expecting mother. Believe it or not, many women experiencing unwanted pregnancy find it extremely difficult to encounter honest, reliable, non-judgmental support. Remember, the decisions throughout an adoption plan are yours to make and nobody can take that from you! It’s recommended that you sit down with an experienced adoption attorney or adoption specialist and conduct an open conversation regarding where you stand in your pregnancy. This encounter should be at absolutely no cost to you.

 Have you spoken to a friend, spouse or family member who gave you negative feedback on adoption? For some reason, when a woman gets pregnant and is exploring her options, everyone around her suddenly becomes an “expert”. Try and stay alert of false information, one-sided opinions and plain ol’ negative Nancies. It’s typical to feel pulled twenty-something different ways during an unwanted pregnancy. Remaining focused on your specific wants and needs for you and your child is a simple way to dissolve all of the background noise. Although it’s hard to imagine, hundreds of thousands of expectant women just like you have successfully and happily chosen adoption for their baby. Blogs, articles like this one, and social media groups can be a great resource to hear real and raw testimonies of women all over the country who endured unwanted pregnancy through adoption plans. By connecting with actual women and researching success stories, the idea of adoption can become real and plausible before your eyes.  You are not alone. You are not hopeless!

 Although you have been bombarded with a challenging new experience, remembering what’s most important will help you navigate through. So, kick the overbearing and unwanted opinions to the curb and start building a healthy yet knowledgeable support system for you and your baby. Lastly, begin to familiarize yourself with other birth moms who have overcome the obstacle of unwanted pregnancy. You have a not only extraordinary, but rightful opportunity to choose a good life for your child and for yourself.  Be still and know that you are capable and worthy and, most of all, not alone!