A Birth Mothers Story

My adoption story was born out of the greatest love a mother can ever have for her child. It’s been a little over four years since I found out I was pregnant. I had just moved with my two kids from South Carolina to Florida about a month before and into my mom’s one bed and one bath apartment. I was going through a very bad separation from my ex-husband of almost ten years. I had just left the past ten years of my life behind but little did I know I was also bringing a baby with me as well. I packed nine bags for my kids and myself and took a train to Florida to start a new life. I knew I was pregnant before any test, I only took it for confirmation. Before I even took the test I knew I wasn’t going to keep it, I just didn’t know what option I was going to choose. I was about nine weeks pregnant when I finally decided to make the phone call to get information about adoption. I don’t know how the person on the other end of the phone could understand anything I was saying, I was crying so hard I felt like I couldn’t breathe. The person on the other end was so kind and understanding. I had so many questions, concerns and fears, I was completely overwhelmed. From the moment I spoke to someone on the phone, to even now, they were all extremely helpful, they gave me a sense of calm. The adoption agency kept close contact with me throughout my pregnancy and postpartum, they were never pushy with me. If I hadn’t found Ellen Kaplan Adoptions, I would have had a much more difficult and probably traumatic adoption process. When it came time to choose an adoptive family, I was feeling good about making the decision to choose adoption. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for in an adoptive family, I knew something would tell me which one was the right one when I saw it but I did know that I wanted to bless a couple who could not biologically have their own children. Once I picked the family I felt really good and at peace with my decision. I met the family for lunch shortly after I found out I was having a boy. We sat and talked in the restaurant for hours, after lunch with them the emotional scars started healing and feeling like a failure was fading. My main concern from then on was making sure I gave them a healthy baby boy. When I went into labor I contacted the agency and they let the family know. They got there a few hours after he was born and the hospital was kind enough to give them their own room so they could bond with him. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have tears holding the baby or watching them with him. I cried the few times they left and I was alone with the son I had just birthed. Holding him was magic because he was special. He is making a dream come true for a family for the rest of their life. After two days in the hospital and all the legal paperwork was done it was now the part I was dreading, it was time for me to hand him to his mom now. I look forward to seeing them in the future, maybe spending some time together. I finally realized that I am not a failure, weak or unable. What I have done was the most perfect gift I can give someone. I just knew what I couldn’t handle, I did what I felt was necessary for my child to be able to live life to the fullest.

Jennifer